Christmas.

This year was my first Christmas away from home and let's just say it was very different. Yes I had my two lovely sisters Toni and Chelsea to spend it with, we had a fun filled Christmas Eve night of stuffing ourselves to the rim, over indulging, eating till we cried out of pain of Chinese take-out, watching movie, after movie, after movie. Christmas day we skyped with rest of the family back home in Ohio and then opened our gifts while eating a tasty breakfast and watching 'Disney's A Christmas Carol'. Later that day we made cookies and did a little mattress jumping. Chelsea left to go back to Provo that evening and Toni and I left our mattresses in the front room and spent 2 more nights in there. We were pretty lazy a couple days after Christmas. But really who isn't? I mean I think it's completely normal to eat junk food when your stomach is still in pain from a few a nights before and not showering for 3 days is not that big of a deal. So I'd say this Christmas was way fun but it still wasn't the same compared to the last 20 or so other Christmases that I've had. I hope that next year I'll be able to spend it with my entire family.



Thank you Toni for coming up with this oh so very AWESOME idea to run and jump in mid air onto the mattresses. My life would be boring with out ya. I love you!

Thank you Chelsea for driving up to Logan, I know you hate it here! Ha I love you! Oh and thanks for the oh so very chewy, gooey, wonderful caramels and cute glass jar.

Every year our family draws names and we get something for that sibling. This year Tiffany had me and she asked me what I wanted so I sent her a long list of things with pictures and where she could find it, she picked a few things and let me just say that what she got me was the best Christmas present to date! I love what she got me!

Down below is a picture of what she gave me. The pearl bracelet, ring, brown satchel, and black studded wallet in the last picture.







Thank you Tiffany! I love and miss you tons!

room.

I've always been into photography, I love looking at and taking pictures. It's crazy how one picture can tell a story and how it can make you feel. So much can be said and done with on shot. After high school I went to a community college and I took a photography class. It was such a neat class, my favorite part about it was probably the fact that we got to develop our own film in the dark room. The other day I was just going through my binder with all my photos that I developed for each assignment in the class. I found two that I loved so I framed them and hung them on the wall in my room.




I've decided to try and get back into photography. I really like using my 35 mm camera. I've forgot how to use the settings and all the cool stuff I can do with it but I'm going to teach myself and get better at it. I think I need to find a hobby and photography as always been something I liked so why not?

my new obsession.

Okay actually it's not a new obsession, it's an old one. And it's not really an obsession it's more of a..I don't really know what it would be, but I've always wanted a pair of chopsticks and I finally have some! I think what makes my awesome pair of chopsticks even more awesome is the fact that they have their own little case. that's right. I was so excited that I got my first real pair of chopsticks that I wanted to use them tonight and I really wanted some strawberries so I ate my strawberries with my awesome chopsticks. don't judge.

67D32716-0E09-D710-34E2-B80499C46922

1.03.01

the weekend.

This weekend has been so much fun! Kristina came down from Idaho Thursday and stayed for the weekend. We made a pretty sweet video.





Then Toni, Kristina, and I all went down to Centerville and while they visited my aunt I went to the JUSTIN BIEBER Concert with Crystal! Now some may think I'm odd for going to his concert but it was so amazing. He's so cute! Oh don't worry I turned into one of those screaming little 10 year girls. I fit right in.







After the concert everyone met up at Crystal's house and we just hung out and we shared the wonderful pictures and videos from the concert with Toni, Kristina, and Amanda. While sitting around and talking, Crystal busted out this super low voice. After hours of laughter we all fell asleep and then we went to church with Crystal's family the next morning.





After church Toni, Kristina, and I drove the long hour and 15 minutes home. I had to work that night which really sucked, it was so busy! But made for good tip money. When I got home from work we all watched the movie House Bunny. Then stayed up til 5 in the morning editing the music video. Around 3 A.M. we needed a break so where when you need a break from making an amazing music video? Burger King of course.







Waking up many hours later we just sat around and did nothing then finally decided to go see the movie Despicable Me and get a bunch of food and have a dance party. So we did. Although we were all too tired to dance so it didn't last that long and plus it was way hot in our apartment so we went in our backyard and just laid on the grass and chilled. Before the movie Kristina and I attempted to take some artsy looking photos. Hers turned out much better than mine.











The next morning Toni and I went over to Kristen and Jamie's apartment and had a wonderful lunch filled with laughter and good conversation. Those two girls are so funny! After that Kristina left and went back home to Idaho. After her visit and after hanging out with Crystal and Amanda it has made me so excited for the Fall, because they'll all be up here and they won't be living too far from me. I can't wait!

graveyard adventures.

If you can't be a pine
On the top of the hill
Be a scrub in the valley
But be the best little scrub
By the side of the rill.
Be a bush
If you can't be a tree.
If you can't be a highway
Then just be a trail.
If you can't be the sun
Be a star.
If you can't be a Muskee
Then just be a Bass
But the liveliest Bass
In the lake.
We can't all be Captains
Some have to be Crew
But be the best
Of whatever you are.

Toni and I went for a walk around campus as we passed the cemetery we decided to go in and look around. Some may find it a little odd and strange that we would just want to spend our evening in the graveyard but it's actually really cool and the longer I was there the more I wanted to know about these people, what they would have looked like, what their personalities were like, what their dreams were, how they lived their life, what caused them to end up here; in this place. A lot of the ones that we saw that were older couples made me want to know how they met how they ended up getting married. Some that really got to me were little infants that died 2 months after they were born or ones that would be my age now. There was one that was born on June 10th, 1990 and died the same day. As I stood there staring at that gravestone and studying that date I slowly realized, oh June 10th that's today, how sad. But wait it's on there twice so that means she died on the same day, she only lived for a few hours. Wait look at the date. 1990. she's my age. A month younger than me, she would have been 20 today. Then all these things went through my head of how she could be living the college life, she could have been my roommate, in my ward, some great. who knows.




Clearly this man LOVED his wife. he ADORED her. Makes me wish I knew them, they probably did a lot of fun things together and I bet they were a way cute couple. I hope to one day meet and marry a man who will treat me like a queen.

letters to a lost loved one.

It's not a cemetery without crows.

accomplished.

Have you ever had one of those days or weeks where you just feel accomplished? I feel like this past week has been been like that. I mean nothing major has happened and I haven't really done any kind huge accomplishments like running a 25 mile marathon or swam across the ocean but I just feel good and happy, you know accomplished even though I haven't done anything really.
Last Monday I went down to Provo to visit my wonderful sister Chelsea and we hiked the Y. The view was so beautiful, it was a good day to go hiking that's for sure. You definitely don't see that kind of view in Ohio. I haven't seen Chelsea for awhile so it was nice to hangout with her and just have fun. I love that girlie so much! I wish I saw more of her. Then I went home Tuesday afternoon and then worked Friday and Saturday. Friday was the busiest night that Gia's has ever had since they re-opened in February. It was so crazy, Saturday was steady and chill nothing crazy like Friday. Sunday was Sunday peaceful and happy. It was nice and sunny so Megan and I went on a walk down to the temple and we just laid on the grass on the temple grounds and just talked and hung out. And now it's Monday again and my sister Toni gets back from Germany in about 3 hours, so I'm about to leave to go pick her up! I'm so excited to see her again. Last time I saw her was exactly a month ago today. So I can't wait.

oh yeeeah.

I would like to thank Megan Williams for getting me a JOB at Gia's Restaurant. Yes that's right I have a job! I'm now a server. My first day is tomorrow and I'm totally freaking out! Mainly because the entire menu is in Italian so I have to learn how to pronounce everything and what comes with what dish. It was pretty neat though because one of the owners asked me if I was in school and I said "No, not yet but I'm thinking about Culinary Arts in the fall" and he was like "Oh okay, well we have an opening as a cook so if your interested you could help out in the kitchen at times." And of course I said yes. So next Sunday I'm going to be in the Kitchen helping make little things like smoothies and desserts. That's what I'm most excited about! Now I just need to enroll myself in a Culinary Arts school Ü. Although I wish I didn't have to work on Sunday's that really stinks. This job is only part time and I need something full time to be able to pay bills and what not so I'm going to have to look for a morning job. But at least I have this one that will help out a lot!

I'm so grateful to have been able to get a job. Before moving to Logan everyone told me it's really hard to find a job out here and I didn't believe them. I thought that they just weren't trying hard enough and that since I was moving out here once everyone was going home for the summer I would find a job with in a week of me moving out here. But I was wrong and everyone was so right, it's hard to find a job out here. But thankfully I found one and I'm very happy!

finally.

All moved into my apartment. my roommate Megan and I went and bought a T.V. today! I know pretty exciting. Its huge and only cost 10 bucks. Then we got a bunch of wooden picture frames that we're going to decorate and hang up on our wall and try to make the apartment a little bit more homey. We don't have internet yet so I go to the library everyday and sit on their computers for like hours because I'm obsessed with facebook and sadly was going through withdraws. But thankfully Friday we will have internet. Sunday I had the apartment to myself so I just walked around campus, took a few naps, watched P.S. I love you and started the first few episodes of season 1 of Glee. I don't know really know why I didn't like Glee before but now I love it! it's so good, so funny and the music is amazing. Things are starting to look up. All I really need now is a job and I'll be so happy! oh and to figure out what I want to do with school.

woo hoo.

I feel like the only time I really update is if it's about moving to Utah. But that's pretty much the only thing thats really going on. So let me update about Utah.

I leave in about 6 hours! My mom and I are taking 2 days to drive out there and then my mom is going to spend a week visiting family, my 2 sisters Toni and Chelsea and helping me get settled. I'm excited yet nervous, tired and totally freaking out! I'm really going to miss my family and home. I didn't really think I'd miss Ohio in general but I'm totally going to miss Ohio. Even though I always said that I hated Ohio I actually like it here. I'm going to try my best to come back next summer and visit for at least week. I hope I'll be able to afford it. I think I will though, tickets aren't that expensive as long as I buy it far enough in advanced it shouldn't be too much. My birthday is on the 3rd which is the day after I get there so I'll be celebrating the big 2-0 in Utah. I have no idea what I'll be doing, probably just chill with my mom and sisters and a few people that I had met while visiting Toni out there last year. It'll be a good time. I really am excited, but I don't know what to expect I'm terribly shy so I hope I make friends easily. I'm sure I will everyone seems to be way nice out but you never know!

VSX

My new favorite store. VSX Sport. [Victoria Secret Sport.]
seriously they have such cute work out stuff. And I got yoga pants. I'm not a fan of yoga pants, mainly because I don't look good them but these particular ones I look pretty decent in. Plus they're so comfortable. So if anyone is looking for cute comfortable work out clothing go to VSX Sport.

spa.

Every Sunday evening for the past few weeks Kortnee and I have had a spa night. Where we light candels and play music while soaking our feet in a steaming hot water with some epsom salt and a face mask. It's so relaxing and peaceful. It's probably the best way to end a Sunday evening and a great start for the up coming week.















amazing.

excitment.

OH BOY am I so super excited!
So it's official I'm moving to Utah! The first week in May is when I'm driving down there with my mom and whatever I can stuff into my car. I really can not wait. I know I've already talked about moving out there and everything but I just had to clarify that it is actually happening, it's not just talk and wishing and hoping, it's real. What makes me even more excited is the fact that I'll be living with one of the most amazing people that I know, my lovely older sister Toni. She's one of the few people that brings out my crazy, goofy, non-shy, fun, sarcastic, funny side. I'm truly myself around her so I think it'll be easier for me to make friends because I'm so comfortable with her I'll be able to be outgoing and be me. ooo it'll be siick, so siick. I'm still not sure what I'll be going to school for but I'll figure it out. I'm kinda stressing about money, I don't have the best job right now so I'm not getting paid much. But I think it will all work out in the end. I just have to stay positive.

hum de dum

"I've got my life in a suitcase and I'm ready to run, run, run away."

pretty much.

I'm so ready to leave Ohio and to move out, to just run away from this place. I'm ready for change and a lot of it. I'm ready to be in a different state and to start over. To meet new people and to just change everything. I'm so sick of who I am, the way I look and feel about myself. I just want to be happy, I feel stuck living here, I feel like I'm going no where and doing absolutely nothing with my life being here. I am excited though because in about 80 days or so, I'll be moving 2,000 miles away to live with my sister Toni out in Utah. I can not wait! I hope it works out, I hope that we'll get the apartment and it'll be everything that I'm wanting and hoping it'll be. I'm just ready for something new and to be in a totally different enviroment. It's weird though because I seriously hate people, they just get on my nerves. And I hate change so for me to be saying I want change and to actually want to meet and be around people is huge! I think I'm just finally growing up and trying to get the most out of life. I guess after living one way for 19 years gets pretty old. I'm super excited though, I can't remember the last time I was this excited. Okay actually I can but I'm not going to say when or what it was about :). But this is so awesome. I can't believe I'll actually be out of here in about 80 days! eee. Now I've just got to decide what I want to go to school for. I've 3 things that I've been thinking about. Dietetics, Culinary Arts and Esthetics. hmmm I don't know which one would be the best for me. I think I would do great in all of them but I'm just afraid that I'll start one of them and then get bored with it and quit. I tend to do that a lot! We'll see what happens.

lovely.

I love, love, love different ethinicities. I'm always telling my mom that I'm going to marry someone of a different race than me so that my kids will be mixed and different looking. Today at church I got to help my mom in the nursery and she asked me to take pictures of all the kids for a little project she was doing. I was so excited because I love taking pictures and little kids. It's crazy how much they can make you smile and brighten your day just by looking at you and smiling. There was this one little boy that was so adorable. I'm pretty sure he's a mix of Asian and Hispanic. He's definitely something different, I loved it. Don't get me wrong I thought all the little kids in the nursery were adorable and all beautiful but just this one was so different loooking lol I loved it.
After helping out my mom today it just clarified how much I love different looking people and how much I want to, need to, have to travel and meet the beautiful people of the world. And how much I want to be with someone who is a different race than me haha. just so our kids will look different haha. But really I love different cultures and learning about others.

Here are a few pictures I took.









I thought this was way cute.

kiddo.

Kortnee and I got bored so we decided to make a little video.
enjoy kids.

hi. hello.

you can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've, should've happened...or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.

That pretty much sums up my year. One thing that I've learned in 2009 is to not let what happened in the past affect my future, how I feel about myself or my relationships with those around me. So what if a silly boy doesn't like me? I don't see the harm in staying good friends with him. Yeah that situation could've, would've and should've gone awhole lot better. If only I didn't overreact over some silly thing or if I just did not care whether he liked me or not and had just been myself. But it wasn't all my fault. Guys should just be honest, don't lead others on and don't be total douche bags. end of story. I think that if I just sit around and waste my over anyalzing the situation with him then I'm going to go crazy and probably say things I shouldn't and make the situation worse and risk even being friends. So I'm going to stop thinking about it. Its not worth my time or energy. When it comes to boys I've learned to take things slow and to just be yourself with them even if they say stuff that throws you off or hurts your feelings.

When it comes to friends I've learned that we're going to grow apart. we're going to change. life will change. So I can't just sit and wonder maybe if I had done this or that would we be closer? I can only hope that as we grow up we'll stay close and not read into things or over analyze our friendship. And to not get worked up over little things and make situations awkward. I have a tendacy of doing that. -__-

I think I've learned a lot about myself over the past year well more like the past few months. I've learned that I'm a kind, fun loving, funny, outgoing, caring, random and forgiving person. Who loves to laugh and smile, act crazy and say weird things. I'll bend over backwards, put you before myself, do anything and everything for you. I believe that, that is my way of showing how much I love and care for you. I pay attention to the little things that you do and say. I look up to those around me and every single person that is in my life whether they're still in it or not or if I've only known them for 5 months, has been or is an example to me. I truly hope that this year, 2010 brings more happiness and joy. And that the friendships that I have or will have will continue to grow and become stronger and closer.